Worst Movie Reboots & Remakes: Hollywood’s Biggest Do-Over Failures

This week on Films and Fermentation, we dive headfirst into the cinematic recycling bin to uncover the worst movie reboots and remakes Hollywood swore we needed (we did not). From soulless cash grabs to “bold reimaginings” that forgot what made the original great, we’re revisiting films that made audiences ask, “Who approved this?” Expect passionate debates, questionable creative decisions, and at least one remake that feels like it was written by a committee of confused interns. We’ll break down why these reboots failed, what they could’ve done differently, and whether any deserve a second… second chance. So grab a drink and join us as we prove that sometimes, the past should stay exactly where it is.

Don’t forget to drop us an email at filmsandfermentation@gmail.com or visit linktree.com/filmsandfermentation  to find all our social media and podcast links.  Become part of the Films and Fermentation Family.  We are now part of the podnation media network on Roku.  

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Greetings, humans. I come in peace to end with podcasts. Welcome to Pod Nature Media, home of the KGA podcast, the undiscovered entrepreneur, Monster Island Film Vault, Cthulhu Jack Presents, and Films and Fermentation. All excuse me exclusively on the monster.

SPEAKER_07 1:19

Tonight we are looking at movie reboots and remakes. Because if there's one thing we have said over and over again, we usually don't like reboots and remakes. So uh what we're looking at tonight is the worst of the worst movie reboots and remakes, Hollywood's biggest do-over failures. That's right, we are films and fermentation, a movie and alcohol podcast, number one beer and number one alcohol podcast on Good Pods. I'm Leo.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

I'm Kevin.

SPEAKER_07 1:45

I'm Mike. We're three friends who talk shit about movies while getting shit faced. This week on Films and Fermentation, we dive headfirst into the cinematic recycling bin to uncover the worst movie reboots and remakes. Hollywood swore we need it, but we really didn't. From soulless cash grabs to bold reimaginings that forgot what made the original great. We're revisiting films that made audiences ask who approved this? Expect passionate debates, questionable creative decisions, and at least one remake that feels like it was written by a committee of confused interns. We'll break down why these reboots failed, why they could have done what they could have done differently, and whether any deserve a second second chance. So grab a drink and join us as we prove that sometimes the pass should stay exactly where it is. Don't forget to drop us an email at films and fermentation at gma.com or visit linktree.com slash films and fermentation to find all of our social media podcast links. Become part of the Films and Fermentation family by watching us on the FODNAT Media Network on Roku, on Rumble or on YouTube, or by supporting us at patreon.com. Because we are an independent podcast, which means we are listener supported. So please consider joining our Patreon for as little as a dollar a month if we receive members only content. That's right. Please give us a dollar a month, or we're going to have to reboot the podcast. No go to patreon.com slash films of fermentation or buy our merchandise at teespring.com or text us at 904-867-4466.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

I want California to play me on the reboot.

SPEAKER_07 3:25

In the reboot.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Well, um go ahead. So I'm working my way through the uh St. Patti's Day variety pack with a Smithwick and a Yards.

SPEAKER_07 4:04

Nice. I thought you were gonna show us another green and uh yellow beer, blue and yellow beer or something. Uh Mike, are you drinking another one of your uh blind barrels tastings tonight?

SPEAKER_02 4:16

I am getting I am from Blind Barrels release number 16. The best of the best. I am doing sample B, which is Casey Jones totally eclipsed four grain Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. It's from Hopkinsville, Kentucky. It's 100 proof. Uh it's got a bright copper uh look to it, and then it jumps to a commercial uh yeah, nice uh nice strong one.

SPEAKER_07 5:00

Uh I decided to do something a little different tonight. I'm drinking uh an espresso martini uh from Loverboy Distillery. Uh it is a uh 12% alcohol by volume. Espresso martini wine cocktail. And it says it's two drinks per can. Uh, but this is a very tiny can. It looks like Andre holding a beer can. I think it's a tiny can, but it says it's two drinks per can. So that's what I'm drinking tonight. All right, let's play a little bit of music.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

In eighteen eighty-nine, George Eastman begins selling Kodak flexible role film for the first time.

unknown 6:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Yeah, no. Come on, we have to have film and film and fermentations.

SPEAKER_07 6:14

Flexible role film, which would mean it was um good for like you know, the real-to-real kind of stuff, since this is like the birth of the motion picture era.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Uh 1906, the first ever animated film recorded on standard picture film was released, named Humorous Phases of Funny Faces, running at three minutes long. The silent short was created by British American film pioneer Jay Stewart Blackton.

SPEAKER_07 6:45

This had come up before because again, these this is this week in film history, so I'm sure we've covered this at some point. And I believe the last time this fact came up, we actually played the three-minute video on the podcast. Uh you can find it, you can find it on YouTube, humorous humorous faces, phases of funny faces. So you can either watch that on YouTube or you can go back into our archives and find where we should. Probably around April of last year. Yeah, or the year before, somewhere in the no, you know what it was. I think it was the year we did the uh Ten Commandments episode. I think it was. So that might have been two years ago. Uh next one, sir.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

1926. Alfred Hitchcock releases his first film as a director, The Pleasure Card in England. The silent drama is made in Germany.

SPEAKER_07 7:38

His popularity was so great in the 50s and 60s that it's it's I forget that he actually began his career as a violent silent film director.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

1927, first long-distance television transmission, an image of Secretary of Commerce, Herbert Hoover, was sent from Washington DC to New York City by ATT.

SPEAKER_07 8:04

That's the first long-distance TV transmission. Big picture. Three states away. Yeah, I guess so.

SPEAKER_02 8:17

1931, a Yankee, a Connecticut Yankee film based on the novel by Mark Twain, directed by David Butler, starring Will Rogers, is released.

SPEAKER_07 8:28

What is the novel called? Because it's not called a Connecticut Yankee.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

Is it a Connecticut Yankee in Camelite's Court? Oh.

SPEAKER_07 8:35

You're you're close. You were very close.

SPEAKER_02 8:36

It's yeah, it's a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. King Arthur's Court. Okay. 1932, Grand Hotel, directed by Edmund Golding Golding, and starring Greta Garbo and John Barrymore, premieres in New York. Includes the line, I Want to Be Alone. Best picture and production, 1932.

SPEAKER_07 9:00

A old one that I actually have seen, but so long ago that I couldn't tell you anything about it. It's it's probably a film theory class watch for me.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

Marty, directed by Delbert Mann and starring Ernest Borgnine and Betsy Blair, premieres in New York. Best picture, 1956.

unknown 9:27

Wow.

SPEAKER_07 9:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

1957 feature film adaptation of Reginald Rose's telepla teleplay, 12 Angry Men, by Sydney Lamont, starring Henry Fonda, Lee J. Cobb, E. Gene Marshall. It's released in the United States. Released by United Artists.

SPEAKER_07 9:50

It's funny, this one comes up in your film facts here. Maybe it's it's just I don't think it's a coincidence. Maybe it's because it it's a film fact for this week. Uh one of the uh film uh accounts that I follow on Instagram posted a scene from this version of 12 Angry Men, and it's Lee J. Cobb giving his like big monologue at the end of the film, and it's like you know, a masterclass in acting, and then it's the scene and all. And I was like, oh wow, it's a that is a really good movie, and and it's you know, it's so I guess it's not a coincidence that it's in your film facts this week.

SPEAKER_02 10:23

This one's been on before, but 1973 Paper Moon film starring Ryan O'Neill and his daughter Tatum O'Neill, directed by Peter Bogdenvik Denovich, premieres in Hollywood, California. Tatum O'Neill becomes youngest, age 10, Academy Award winner, supporting actress.

SPEAKER_07 10:44

It's one of my favorite film facts that this movie was made as a vehicle for Ryan O'Neill in the hopes of trying to get him an Oscar because he's never won one, and his daughter beats him for it.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

1976, All the President's Men, directed by Alan J. Pacula, based on the nonfiction book by journalists Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward, uh detailing the Watergate investigation starring Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford is released.

SPEAKER_07 11:22

Excellent movie. Hard rewatch now because it's not uh it's it's a slow burn kind of film.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Then it's not the worst crime ever committed by a president.

SPEAKER_07 11:34

Not any longer. Not any longer, no. Uh next one, sir.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

1979 Australian film Mad Max, starring Mel Gibson and directed by George Miller, is released.

SPEAKER_07 11:48

I've been hearing a lot about uh Mad Max and Mel Gibson uh recently because one of the other podcasts I listened to who does like a f the director's filmographies, they've been covering Peter Weir, uh, who did uh uh Truman Show and Dead Poet Society and all those, but his Australian started his career in Australian cinema, worked with a very, very young Mel Gibson on a movie called The Year of Living Dangerously, uh that I haven't seen, and I really kind of want to see it now because after listening to the episode on it, it sounds like a movie I would enjoy. Uh next one, sir.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

1983 in front of a live studio, uh live audience of 20 tourists. David Coverfield makes the Statue of Liberty disappear.

SPEAKER_07 12:31

I remember watching this on TV, and I'm like, if I saw it in person, maybe I'd be impressed with watching it on TV.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

Big mirrors, big fucking mirrors.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

I don't remember seeing this one. I do remember him walking through the Great Wall of China.

SPEAKER_07 12:49

I think it's great. I remember more of the weird stunts that David Blaine did, like sleeping in a block of ice for a week and shit. You ever see uh it's not a great movie, but there is some funny shit in it. Uh, the the fabulous Bert Wonderstone.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

Yes, with uh Steve Carell. Steve Carell.

SPEAKER_07 13:10

That Steve Carell and and and and Steve Bassemi play kind of like sexy and Roy type type like magic magic act, and they're getting overshadowed by Jim Carrey, who is like a David Blaine style performer.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

Philippa Wilde's in this too, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 13:28

But at the end of the film, uh Jim Carrey gets up on stage and tells shows everybody he's going to drill a hole in his head, which is like a dumb stunt to do, but he's like, trust me, I'm a professional, and then he drills his hole in his head, and they have to walk him off stage because he he starts drooling on himself. I don't know. This made me think of that.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

Next one, sorry. 2009 Star Trek film reboot, directed by JJ Abrams, starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quento, premiered in Austin, Texas. Now, I don't know if I'd call this a reboot, I call it like an alternate universe.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

Alternate universe, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 14:07

Yeah, I think what they call it technically is like a reimagining.

SPEAKER_04 14:13

Yeah, imagining universe.

SPEAKER_07 14:18

It's funny this is coming up tonight because we're talking about reboots. I don't think it's that bad.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

No, I I thought it was good for what it is. I mean, if you're a purist, yeah, people are gonna hate it. But if you like Star Trek used to Star Trek, yeah, you would like the film.

SPEAKER_07 14:33

It's funny if you look at the uh because JJ Abrams also did the Star Wars Force Awakens. Uh you look at his Star Trek and then watch it in comparison to like the original Star Trek Star Wars films, and it's like, okay, you got a lead actor, you got a lead character being advised by an old wise character. He's on an ice planet where he gets attacked by a monster. Uh there it's like all these, like there's a big weapon that can destroy a whole planet, and it's like all these comparisons to the original Star Wars. Yeah. Next one, sir.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

2012, the Avengers, directed by Josh Wheaton and starring Robert Daniel Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Helmsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, and Jeremy Reiner. Premieres in Los Angeles, California.

SPEAKER_07 15:21

This is a uh reboot of the Avengers with uh Ray Feines and Uma Thurman, correct? No. Sean Connery.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

No. Next one, sir. Now, this next one, I can't believe it's been four years already. Um time flies when you slap people on the face line on TV. 2022, U.S. U.S. Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences banned Will Smith from attending the Oscars for 10 years after he slaps Chris host Chris Rock on stage during the 2022 ceremony. Like, has it really been fucking four years?

SPEAKER_07 15:59

Four years since it happened. That means he still has six years before he can return to the Oscar. The best part of that was he slaps Chris Rock on the face live on TV and then wins the Oscar a half hour later for best actor. And gives this like you know, speech about how uh appreciative he is. It's like you just slapped Chris Rock in the face a half hour ago, dude.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

Keep my wife, they might Chris Rock did a stand-up special like a year later.

SPEAKER_06 16:32

Uh and the first joke he opens with, he goes, People ask me all the time when Will Smith smacked you in the face on Loud TV, did it hurt? He's like, Yeah, hurt motherfucker. He lied, he smacked me in the face.

SPEAKER_07 16:47

Uh right, so that was our uh film history, and we only have one beer news story tonight, but that's okay. We're still gonna play the song.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

Okay, well, our friend Mike has just recently returned from uh his his his uh pilgrimage to uh Disney World. And uh when I looked up beer news, I saw this one standing out, so I figured I'd click on it. It's rather lengthy, so there's a lot of skipping that's gonna take place. Drinking beers around the world, a beer-focused guide to Ebcot, known as Walt Disney World's Resort's drinking capital, Ebcot is full of ways to drink your way around the world. But for National Beer Day, which was April 7th, two days ago. We wanted to celebrate the craft of the brew with the guide to every single beer you can order in Epcot, which is why this is going to be very much abridged.

SPEAKER_07 18:07

I'm on through the list of beers and trying to see how many I've actually had without visiting Epcot.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

As a note, since you can get several of these common drafts like Bud or Stella or Twa around the parks at Disney World, we aren't including typical offerings in this list or center uh festival-centered limited time options. We also didn't include uh non oh, they also did include non-alcoholic beers as well. And for those who are unfamiliar with EBCOT, there's a whole world showcase that has uh several, let's see, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, nine, ten, eleven, eleven different uh worlds uh within the world showcase, and then there's the world celebration, the world discovery, and the world nature, which I are I'm unfamiliar with because the last time I was there was 2001.

SPEAKER_02 19:03

That's the front of the park where you know future world used to be. That's what they've changed that all to.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Oh, really? Okay, oh yeah. Hmm, okay. So uh just going through this, I'm going into American Adventure. Let's pick three. There's three daughter, three daughters brewing beach blonde ale out of St. Petersburg, Florida. There is um Kentucky bourbon barrel ale out of Lexington, and then Orange Blossom Brewing, Orange Blossom Pilner, uh Pilsner rather, out of Orlando.

SPEAKER_07 19:38

So it's a dogfish head.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

There is a dogfish head one there, yes. And you have a lot of Sam Adams, to tell you the truth.

SPEAKER_07 19:48

I do, yeah. I've had all of these except for the Golden Road Brewing Mango.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

I thought, isn't that mango cart? It's mango cart, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 20:01

Mango cart wheat ale. I've never had that one.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

Oh, it's delicious. It's one of my favorites. It's a go-to. I'm jumping down to Canada. I'm only going to uh focus on the La Fin du Mandé Draft, which is a triple style cold nail with a mildly hoppy palette, and notes of grains, fruits, and spice, followed with a smooth, dry finish, a perfect balance of sugar, acidity, bitterness, spice, and alcohol.

unknown 20:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 20:27

All the other ones in Canada are fairly popular.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Yeah, shortcut. And China, there's the Dragon Blossom Draft. And yeah. Uh the Lucky Fu Pale Ale. Those are the two I'm gonna focus on here, and I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_07 20:49

I've had Sing Tao.

SPEAKER_01 20:51

Sing Tao?

SPEAKER_07 20:53

Sing Tao is a Chinese beer. I've had that. It's pretty good. It's it's a light, like almost clear beer, like sort of like a like a like a Heineken or like a Bex or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

Like Crystal Pepsi?

unknown 21:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 21:06

The Crystal Pepsi of beers, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

Um in France, there is Barry, Barry, Cronesberg.

unknown 21:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

Um yeah, and that's honestly that's it. In all of France, it's the same beer.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

France is mostly wine. Yeah, they have that. They have what they have is a uh made with cointreau and something else, but it's a is an orange slushy. That's where everybody goes. Champagne. Yeah, well no, no. Champagne's on the is on the other one. The the the orange just didn't have it just has uh moving on to Germany.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

Guys, you're gonna be surprised, but there's quite a few here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:57

Probably surprised.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

We have the Bitburger Premium Pilsner, which is a classic German lager beer with a crystal clear straw colored hue, a fine balance between pronounced flavor and light bodied elegance, with mild fruitiness and freshness supported by gentle sweet malt notes. This yields to a crisp hop tone and a harmonious finish.

SPEAKER_02 22:21

I should not add a must-tribe uh must-try beer this week. I just did this episode here.

SPEAKER_07 22:26

No, but it's just this, man. I uh I'm looking, it's funny. As long as the beer list is for Germany, Bitburger is the only one I've had.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

Really? Uh we're gonna do uh Strauss Strauss of Hofer, grapefruit Heifeweisen. Yes, a unique combination of sparkling.

SPEAKER_06 22:45

Incorporated.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

We're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. A unique combination of sparkling smooth Hefeweissen with grapefruit juice, refreshing, well-rounded taste with tangy character and hints of sweetness that is pleasing to the palate. The fur the world's first unfiltered grapefruit Hefeweissen mix.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

Very good, very refreshing.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

And the last one from Germany I'm going to tackle is the Worsteiner Dunkel. Um a classic German-style dark pilsner that has a deep chestnut brown hue with a smooth, toasty malt flavor and mocha aromas.

SPEAKER_07 23:27

I've had all three of them. I've had dunkels before, but I don't know if I've had the Warstein or Dunkel.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

Into Italy we go. Um, there's really only one I want to tackle here: the Cipriani Carciofo.

SPEAKER_07 23:45

Uh so I'm gonna I'm gonna as the uh resident Italian in the room, uh Italy is not known for beer. No, no, this is more of a wine country as well. Uh like I've had I've had Peroni because that's fairly that's like that's like the Budweiser of Italy. Um I've never had Cipriani Carciofo. It's an artichoke beer. I don't know what artichoke beer means, and I don't think I want artichoke in my beer.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

It's the only beer in the world with artichoke or in the US to the time.

SPEAKER_07 24:22

In the US, uh uh Monapria Umbrada and Monopriya Beanda. I haven't had any of those. Now beyond means white, so there's a white beer and umbrella is like amber, so it's an amber ale and a white ale.

SPEAKER_01 24:36

As we move into Japan, we are limited to the Kieran um series of beers. We have Kieran Ikabon, we have Kieran Frozen, Kirin Light, Kieran Draft, Kirin and Sapuro Draft beer.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

The Ikebon's very good. Is it is it like a rice beer?

SPEAKER_01 24:58

Kind of like their rice wine is uh sake.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

Uh I don't know if it's actually a rice beer or not. Japan I don't even know what I'm drinking half the top.

SPEAKER_01 25:09

Oh, but they do have one. I'm sorry, I I jumped the gun too much. They do have others. They have a Kashi Hikari rice beer. That's $20 of uh a pour. Um I haven't had that one. And the Shiki Sai seasonal draft, $15 a poor.

SPEAKER_07 25:28

We've had sapro before, but I don't think I've had any of the other ones.

SPEAKER_01 25:34

As we move into Mexico, we have a um Hercules, which is a lager maze craft beer made with Mexican corn. Hercules, Hercules.

SPEAKER_02 25:48

Oh, usually there I'm getting margarita, so tequila.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

Into Morocco we go, and I think this is the entrance into the world showcase. Oh no, no, no. Oh no, Morocco's not the entrance. Oh my bad. Yeah, you got Canada on one side, you got Mexico on the other. The entrance. Oh, okay. Uh, anyway, they don't have much report. They have Mediterranean beer and a Moroccan blonde ale. And then there's Norway. Norvay. Norve. Um, their beer list, they have an Einstock white ale, a Cornole Norwegian farmhouse ale draft, and a Breckenridge Brewery Vanilla Porter. I like that.

SPEAKER_07 26:39

Heineken non-alcoholic. Why would you even list that on your beer list?

SPEAKER_02 26:44

You got those people that like beer but not allowed to drink it anymore.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

And they also have Nordic draft beers, which are juniper pilsner, cornole fire farmhouse ale, and norsk. Oh god. Your bear cream strawberry cream ale.

SPEAKER_07 27:04

You gotta give it that Norwegian like lilter. You gotta go like your bear.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Um, we go into the United Kingdom. Umperial Sampler, which is Sullivan's Malting Irish ale, Harp's lager, which I'm drinking tonight, old speckled hen English pale ale, and Guinness, which is still in my fridge.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

I've had the speckle. I've had all of these.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

Um yeah. I don't think let's see, world celebration.

SPEAKER_07 27:35

I got in the UK you also have a beer cart.

SPEAKER_01 27:41

Oh, yeah. And and that's that's that's about it. Uh let's just say, will you be celebrating National Beer Day? And Epcot this year, let us know on the social media.

SPEAKER_07 27:50

So anyway, you get you get the like things like the space restaurant. It's Blue Moon and Sierra Nevada and like all like normal shit.

SPEAKER_02 27:58

So speaking of National Beer Day, uh, I found out this morning that today is National Gin and Tonic. Leo, you're drinking the wrong shit. I know.

SPEAKER_07 28:11

Should be drinking a gin rich. I uh I don't think we need to do the the the uh um field trips anymore. We just all just go to Epcot and just drink our way around the park. Uh man. Uh I have some movie updates tonight that don't involve death.

SPEAKER_03 28:34

One last movie updates with Leo, movie updates with Leo, movie updates with Leo, movie updates with Leo.

SPEAKER_07 28:46

Yes, Mike, it does say kill in that title, but I'm not talking about the death of anybody real. So we have a couple of premieres this week. Uh the boys, uh final season, season five, just premiered on Amazon Prime. I watched the first episode. Uh it's as bad shit crazy as it's ever been. So, Kev, you watch the boys, right?

SPEAKER_01 29:12

I do, but I haven't started the new season yet.

SPEAKER_07 29:15

So uh you thought the uh the guy that that uh shrinks and goes inside of his boyfriend and then blows up was weird? Way do you meet the worm? Oh no. And the guy and the guy with the uh with the giant dick that he uses as like a whip is back this season. It's it's it's craziness, man. Uh Daredevil Season 2, or as I should, as it's actually called, Daredevil Born Again Season 2. Uh, because it's technically like season five if you go back to the other Daredevil show. Um that is just premiered on Disney Plus and Hulu. I have not begun that yet. Uh, I will definitely be getting to that probably this weekend.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

I give it two thumbs up already. Yes.

SPEAKER_07 29:59

Uh I just found out about this today, and normally I'm like, uh, you know, do we need a Lord of the Flies series on Netflix? Uh, but then I saw the trailer, it looked really good. It's a four-part mini-series uh written by Stephen Graham, who was the writer and star of Adolescence. So that has me intrigued because Adolescence was amazing, and I think he can do a good job with Lord of the Plause. Uh and then I saw the trailer today for Punisher One Last Kill, which is a uh Punisher movie uh exclusive to uh Disney Plus and who and it looks it looks pretty intense, and and and uh John Burnsall, who plays the Punisher, he wrote it. Yes, he is very possessive of the Punisher character, uh, because it's he said it's his favorite comic character, and he's very proud to be the Punisher in on Disney. Uh so he is yeah, he's one of the co-writers of this film as well, because he's he wants to make sure it's true to the character, which is cool. So uh so that's mine. So uh must try craft tonight.

SPEAKER_02 31:11

Yes, uh, at least this is short considering we already had this tonight. Yeah, Bateman SXXB is a strong English bitter 4.8 ABV from George Bateman, George Bateman and his sons, named using the old X system that indicated beer strength, brewed with traditional methods and ingredients like Morris, Otter Pale malt, crystal malt, wheat malt, and wheat syrup. It features challenger and golding hops for for firm bitterness. The beer is complex and full-bodied with a rich biscuit, biscuity malt character, fruity notes, and peppery earthy hops. Finishing finishing long with a balanced bittersweet flavor and hints of banana. Interesting little little little catch at the end there. Hints of banana. Uh this is that movie. This is an this is out of England. I did it. What's that one uh you like, Kev?

SPEAKER_07 32:16

It's uh is it a golden monkey?

SPEAKER_01 32:17

It's a golden monkey, yeah. Knock me on my butt.

SPEAKER_07 32:20

Yeah, from Victory, which is also has a little banana flavor to it. Yeah. All right, we're gonna take a short break, and then we'll be back for our main segment on the worst movie reboot. It's a hundred-proof man drinks a hundred-proof whiskey and then wonders why it's strong.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

Oh, I'm just saying it's strong. Like, wow.

SPEAKER_07 32:40

Next week on beer news with Kevin.

SPEAKER_01 32:44

Water is wet.

SPEAKER_07 32:45

Yes, I finished the lover boy espresso martini, which was 12% alcohol by volume, and the can that makes my hand look like Andre the Giants. It claimed to be two drinks in one can, but I finished it pretty quickly. So I'm drinking another espresso martini, but I don't have any more of the lover boy. So I'm now drinking cut water espresso martini, which is a even smaller can, but for some reason is 13% alcohol by volume. So this is this is the can comparison. Uh but apparently this can will knock me on my ass harder. So I actually think this one tastes better than the first one I had too. So the first one I had was a espresso martini wine cocktail. This one is a espresso martini uh vodka cocktail. So I'm assuming that's why it's a small can.

SPEAKER_02 33:46

And that's why I don't want a more yeah.

SPEAKER_07 33:50

So uh tonight, our main segment is the worst movie reboots and remakes. Uh so we didn't do our own list for this. Instead, we are using a ranker.com list called the worst movie remakes ever. Um, so what we are going to do, we've done this before with the ranker list, is we're gonna go through some of the movies that are on here, and we're gonna do some up and down voting on them and see if we can change their position on the uh on the charts here. I've already did my voting earlier so that Kevin and Mike can do their voting tonight, and I can refresh the page and see if anything changes. So we're gonna start right at the number one ranking here and work our way down the list. Uh, and we're not gonna do the whole list with the whole list on forever. So we're just gonna like kind of stop, you know, when we feel like it. Uh, but the first one on the list here is the Fantastic Four reboot. And now there have been multiple Fantastic Four reboots. Uh the ones with Jessica Alba and and and Michael Chicklis and Chris Evans are are technically reboots because there's one that was made in the 90s. No one counts that one that you can probably you can pretty much only get on like DVD at like comedy conventions.

SPEAKER_01 35:10

Not even the actors who were in that count that one.

SPEAKER_07 35:13

But this reboot is the one that came out in what year did this come out? It doesn't say on the uh 2015. 2015, here it is 2015 with Josh Trank directed film, Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, and Jamie Bell, Fantastic Four. Uh I I have not seen this one.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

I have read not miss anything.

SPEAKER_07 35:38

I had read enough reviews about it.

SPEAKER_01 35:43

Yeah. Neither of the characters had any depth. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 35:48

It was one of those things where it was at the time where like Sony, I believe it was Sony, would have lost the rights if they didn't make a movie. So it was kind of like one of those quick let's make a movie where teen rights kind of things.

SPEAKER_02 35:59

Pretty much.

SPEAKER_07 36:01

Fortunately, it didn't hurt like Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan's career sending. Uh but yeah, I mean, the only thing I remember I've seen of this is the final scene where it's it's Mr. Fantastic, who's played by Miles Teller and Jamie Bell, who plays the thing, standing on like a uh balcony talking to each other, and uh he's like, there's they had they haven't thought of their like superhero group name yet, and for some reason the thing says like Fantastic or something like that, and he goes, That's it, and then it cuts to black. It's like I gave it a I gave it an up vote for worse just for that reason. I didn't even say it. So what are you guys doing?

SPEAKER_01 36:47

Oh, I I agreed. That's probably the worst reboot I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_07 36:52

So, yeah, so for these, if you think it's a terrible reboot, you want to hit the up arrow uh to try to get it higher on the list. Uh number two is a remake. I forgot this got remade. Uh 2018 remake of Overboard. The Overboard was the uh film from the 80s with uh Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn.

SPEAKER_02 37:18

Can can I say something that I've seen the original Overboard was okay?

SPEAKER_07 37:25

Yeah, like it's why it was reboot. If we're gonna make a reboot of it, the reboot should be better than the original. You would hope if the original wasn't that great.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Yeah, it's and I believe these they gender swapped the roles in this one. So Anna Farris is the working class individual. She's the she's Angenio Durbez is uh is the uh hoity tweety spoiled guy.

SPEAKER_07 37:53

He's the Kurt Goldiehorn character, yes. Yeah, yes. I saw the original overboard as well, Mike, when I was younger when it like around when it first came out, and I remember thinking, like, okay, it was kind of funny, but it wasn't like groundbreaking or anything.

SPEAKER_01 38:05

It was it was like I think it was it was good for the time, it was good for 1980s, you know. It was like on HBO like every other week.

SPEAKER_07 38:14

Oh, yeah, yeah. I think it's around the time that Russell and Hawn got married as well. Yeah, and so I think this was like, Oh, they're married now, let's create a vehicle for them, you know, to begin together. Yeah, and no, so yeah. I didn't see this one, I didn't vote on it either way because I really couldn't tell you if it's bad or not.

SPEAKER_01 38:33

But I feel like I hadn't seen it, so I can't vote on it.

SPEAKER_07 38:36

Yeah, if you're gonna make a remake of a movie that wasn't that great to begin with, the new version should be better. Yeah. Uh next is Annie, the Jamie Fox version.

SPEAKER_02 38:49

I'm gonna say I didn't say it, but I'm gonna call it bad and go up because the original was so good. The original is amazing.

SPEAKER_07 38:56

I I did see this one, it's not bad. I mean, it's not it wasn't really necessary. I'm not even gonna say it was bad because there's a lot of people complain about the uh you know, the race swapping of characters and shit. Like I don't care about that, you know, it was made for modern times anyway, but I just don't feel like a movie. Sometimes movies just don't need to be remade. Like you said, the first Annie was was a great film, yeah. And you're never gonna replace Carol Burnett, yeah. And they replaced Carol Burnett with uh with um Cameron Diaz in this film, which not comparable. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 39:36

Close.

SPEAKER_07 39:36

Yeah, no offense to Cameron Diaz, she's not Carol Burnett. And and like, you know, it's hard, like the original film. Like you had you had um uh you know, Syram Carol Burnett, you had you had Albert Finney playing Daddy Warbucks, an amazing actor. Again, nothing against Jamie Fox, but I don't think Jamie Foxx is old enough to play the Daddy Warbucks character.

SPEAKER_02 39:58

You need to get the guy that's playing, you know, Kingpin or play the Dinafrio.

SPEAKER_07 40:04

You don't want you don't want your daddy warbucks to be fucking terrible either.

SPEAKER_05 40:08

Come in here and uh sing a song for FDR. Yeah. The subtle come out tomorrow. Comes out tomorrow.

SPEAKER_07 40:23

If you're gonna play, if you're gonna do a remake of Annie and Ray Swap and you want to play Daddy War Bucks, I mean I feel like I don't know. I mean, Denzel would be a good one for me to play that, but I don't know if Denzel can sing and it does require some singing talent. Uh let's see. The oh god, yes. I definitely gave an up vote on this fucker.

SPEAKER_02 40:45

The mummy with Tom Cruise. Come on. I like I I like the the third movie of the the original mummy series better than that one's not the one that was so bad that Rachel Vice was like, I'm out.

SPEAKER_07 41:00

Yeah, that one. They got they got uh Maria Bello to play the role instead. Yeah, yeah, I'm not a fan of that one either, and I rewatched that one over the Tom Cruise.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

And this one seemed like it was a you know uncharted version of the mummy, you know? Until Tom Cruise got a hold of it.

SPEAKER_07 41:17

Yeah, and that's the thing, is it was it was designed to be the film that was going to start the dark universe, and it was supposed to focus more on the mummy miss and and the introduction of uh Russell Crowe as Jekyll and Hyde at the end, but Tom Cruise got signed on and decided it needed to be more like Mission Impossible, you know, and that's that's kind of where it went wrong. Uh so I gave an upvote on that one. So right now it's at four. I'm gonna refresh it and see if anything changes. It's still at four. Uh number five on the worst list is Foot Loose with Juliana Huff and Dennis Quaid.

SPEAKER_02 41:57

Again, another why would you already make awesome? The first Photos is awesome. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:05

But you know it. There's a reason why we don't play six degrees of Kenny Warmond.

SPEAKER_07 42:14

I didn't even bother reading his name because I don't even know who the hell he is. Like, I know Juliana Huff from Dancing with the Stars.

SPEAKER_01 42:21

If you don't got the logins, he can't reboot the film. He just can't. He can't do it.

SPEAKER_07 42:29

Yeah, I agree. Yeah, and this this this I didn't see this one either. It just it's a weird thing about some of these reboots and remakes too, is like I just don't want to see them because the originals were either really great, or I just like I have fond memories of the originals or something. Um, so Footloose right now is at number five. Number six, the honeymooners with Cedric the Entertainer. Uh again movie? It's it was a movie. That's the thing, too. It's like it's a reboot. So like this was this came out in 2005. This is still the era when there was a lot of movies being made on old TV shows. You're right. You know, so you had prior to that, you had the Adams family, and you had, you know, whatever. But like, yeah, so like you know, they decide, oh, we're gonna do a movie version of the honeymooners, we're gonna race swap it. Um, again, I don't care as long as the movie is funny and and pays credit to the original. It's not funny, and it's not like the original took place in one apartment every episode. It very rarely left the apartment. The movie's on the bus with Ralph Cramton, and it's here with Ralph Cram, and it's and it's like, no, like the honeymooners was this one apartment because it was a half hour TV show about this, you know, tumultuous relationship between this early 50s couple, and that's why it worked. Plus, you know, because it's 2005, they had to tone down the uh domestic abuse comedy.

SPEAKER_01 43:59

I'm not I'm like, in what universe does uh Gabrielle Union go after Cedric the Entertainer?

SPEAKER_07 44:06

Yeah, it was hard enough. It was hard enough believing that Ralph Cram could could land the woman he had. Uh and yeah, and he had Mike Epps playing the uh the Ed Norton character, which was just you know, he's a stand-up comedian, he's not really an actor, and and it didn't really, you know. Uh I didn't vote it either way. I kind of feel like at six, it's kind of where it should be. Number seven is the karate kid with Jaden Smith. I definitely upvoted this one.

SPEAKER_02 44:34

Yeah, I mean, I guess this is a reimagine as well. Okay, it's not exactly the same movie, but he can't act for shit.

SPEAKER_07 44:45

Yeah, like I feel like it's the it's a vehicle where it's like, okay, they they were started trying to cram Jaden Smith down your throat just because it was Will Smith's son. Yeah, nothing against Jackie Chan, he's excellent in the film. Um, because it's Jackie Chan. But it's like, you know, yeah, it just it was they made another one recently, too, that I don't know if it went straight to Netflix or if it actually had a theatrical run. It was called Karate Kid like Legacy or something like that, and it featured Ralph Machio and Jackie Chan playing their characters from the two different karate kid franchises, and they were mentoring a young kid. You know, they didn't learn their lesson when they had the next karate kid with Hillary Swank, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:28

Yeah, because that was terrible too.

SPEAKER_07 45:31

Next karate kid. Um, yeah, I upvoted this one because I mean I I love Jackie Chan, but this movie's not great. No, and and and he's also like a little kid, like he's not like like this one he made Ralph Machio was 50 when he made that karate kid. Yeah, Ralph Macchio was 52, playing an 18-year-old, but you felt real you related to him anyway. Uh where they used to do like the stop motion animation, and this one was uh Bruce Leigh, and he's drinking the brisk iced tea, and Ralph Macchio comes in the room with Pat Merida and he's like karate kid, and he goes, Karate kid, I'm 37.

SPEAKER_01 46:19

Uh no, the only brisk uh iced tea commercial I remember is the Rocky one.

SPEAKER_07 46:23

Yeah, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_01 46:24

Who keeps ringing that bell? I can't concentrate. Number eight, psycho.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

Oh, have the open just because come on.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

Yeah, honestly, I might move this all the way up to number one above uh Fantastic Core. Well, and it's it's word for word, scene from scene, shot from shot, directly lifted. It's like it's it's not a reboot, you just re-filmed it with uh modern actors. You could have dubbed the voices, you know. There was no differentiation.

SPEAKER_07 46:59

The only differentiation was that it's in color, you know. Other than that, like you said, it's and I think we've talked about this before, like it's shot for shot remake. Like, if you're gonna do a remake or a reboot, as much as I hate when they try to change it up a little bit, you should try to change it up a little bit. You know, like Vince Vaughn, I love Vince Vaughn as a comedic actor, he is not Norton Beats. Uh Ann Haish plays the Janet Lee character. She is okay in it, but she's not, I didn't think she was as big a star to get the reaction that uh the original Psycho got when Janet Lee gets killed within 20 minutes.

SPEAKER_02 47:41

Or she was a major star anyway, so you're not gonna get that reaction anyhow, because everybody knows it's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_07 47:50

Exactly. Yeah, it's another thing, too. Like, you know, if you've seen the original, you know it's coming. And uh, like in the first the original one, like Janet Lee was a major star at the time, and she had top billing on the film. So people went in there thinking she was going to be the hero of it, and then when she dies like 10-15 minutes into it, it was a major shock.

SPEAKER_02 48:07

It's kind of like it's like kind of like killing Sean Bean at the at the end of the first season of uh what the fuck?

SPEAKER_07 48:15

It's more surprising when Sean Bean makes it to the end of the film. He was like the only star they had. Yeah. At the time, yeah. Uh so yeah, I voted this one up too. Like, like you said, Kev, if I could get this one up in number one, I would. Because it is it is one of the worst. And I like Gus Van Zant, he's a good director. He did uh uh Goodwill Hunting. Um this was like, yeah, this was not this was not a good idea. Uh neither was number nine Arthur with Russell Brand.

SPEAKER_02 48:48

Can't remake Arthur.

SPEAKER_01 48:50

I mean he was writing the English comedy guy of the time, you know, so they were just trying to put him in where they could, and they're like, hey, he's the new Dudley Moore. It's like he was even the old Dudley Moore wasn't the new Dudley Moore.

SPEAKER_07 49:06

He was coming off for getting Sarah Marshall, which is this first movie, and he stole a lot of that film because he was he was really funny in that. And then they did uh Get Him to the Greek, which was like his first starring vehicle, right? Which did fairly well, and then they hit us with this, and it's like, nah, man, like don't don't do it.

SPEAKER_02 49:25

Even got Helen Murin, poor Helen Miran in this film. I mean, sometimes start throwing an actor at you like that so many times, people just get tired of him.

SPEAKER_05 49:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 49:35

Hey, do you guys uh remember that in 2015 there was a point break remake? No, yes. Number 10, point break. Here's what they did wrong with this one. Aside from the fact that they remade it, they tried to make it gritty and like a gritty, dark, like crime drama, whereas point break with Keanu Reeves knew exactly what it was, and and and played up the meta aspect of it. It was Utah, give me two. Yeah. It was it was getting angry at the end and firing the gun into the sky while screaming. Yes, it was Keanu going, I am an FBI agent.

SPEAKER_02 50:27

Did Bodie really die or did he break the surf?

SPEAKER_07 50:32

It's the presidential masks that they're robbing the banks, like it knew what it was, and this this this reboot tried to be like gritty and kind of like and tried to be more like the departed than point break, and it just didn't work. Uh I have not seen this version of Robin Hood at number 11.

SPEAKER_01 50:53

No, the last one I want to say I've seen was um Russell Crowe. Yeah, probably.

SPEAKER_07 51:01

Yep. I saw that one. I saw a Russell Crowe one in the theater. Um because it was Russell Crowe and it was uh um what's his face, the director, um Ridley Scott. Ridley Scott, and I'm like, oh, it's gotta be it was boring as fuck.

SPEAKER_02 51:20

It's so boring. Well, you would have to say that almost every Robin Hood made since what Errol Flynn is a remake?

SPEAKER_07 51:27

Yeah, well, I mean, pretty much, yeah. I mean, and the Errol Flynn one is based on a series of books.

SPEAKER_02 51:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 51:33

Um if you're gonna make again, if you're gonna make a remake, it's gotta stand out, it's gotta be different. Why I love the Kevin Costro one so much. It's batch you're crazy, but at least it did something different.

SPEAKER_01 51:51

1015, you 1020. Bring a friend. Bring a friend.

SPEAKER_07 51:56

I mean, that's the what's what it was that Alan Rickman made that movie so great. Um the one at Russell Crowe. Here's the other thing I remember about the one at Russell Crowe. It's at the point in Russell Crowe's career where he was beginning to become fat Russell Crowe. Yeah, and so he was like fat Robin Hood. Yeah, I remember this one with Taryn Eggard and Jamie Foxx. I remember this one coming out, but I've never seen it. Yeah, I think they tried to do a remake of the Kevin Costner version of Robin Hood because Jamie Foxx is playing a Morgan Freeman type character, right?

SPEAKER_01 52:37

A chew. Achoo, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 52:39

No, yeah. If you're gonna do a remake of Robin Hood, Robin Hood uh fucking awesome reboot.

SPEAKER_01 52:46

Did you say hey blinking, or did you say a blinking?

SPEAKER_07 53:00

Her name is Latrine, and if she's uh what'd she say? She goes, Yeah, we actually changed it.

SPEAKER_06 53:04

It used to be Chef.

SPEAKER_05 53:07

Good change. Good change. I have a mole.

SPEAKER_07 53:15

Good to be the king. Oh, yeah, that's a that's the that's a good reboot. Not not this one. Uh apparently in 2015 there was a poltergeist rebate remake with Sam Rockwell. I had no idea this existed. Neither did I. I'm I'm curious. Yeah, I'm curious about it because I like Sam Rockwell.

SPEAKER_02 53:39

Yeah, and I love the first poltergeist, the original poltergeist.

SPEAKER_07 53:43

I yeah, same. And I'm like, I'm kind of curious, but I mean if it's on a list of bad reboots, I'm also worried about it. Uh, but I might have to check that one out. 13 is Bewitched with Nicole Kidman and Will Farrell. Yeah, we're gonna jump that one up just because Mike's gonna jump it up just because he hates Will Farrell. Yeah, I'm gonna jump it up because I actually saw it. And it's it's it's weird because it's not a reboot remake of the show. It's really it's it's hard to explain. Like the movie is about a studio trying to do a reboot of Bewitched as a series. Well, Farrell is starring in that series. They hire Nicole Kidman to play the Samantha role, unbeknownst to them that she is an actual witch. So it's kind of like a meta play within a play kind of thing.

SPEAKER_02 54:38

I like how it says it's also rank number two on the movies that were totally ruined by the main couple's lack of chemistry.

SPEAKER_07 54:45

Oh, yeah, they have zero chemistry. I don't imagine Will Farrell and and and Nicole Kidman together.

SPEAKER_01 54:52

No, but then again, I thought the same thing if Will Farrow and Eva um Eva Mendez and and Eva Mendez, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 55:00

Other guys, yeah. They are great. They're great together because the joke is is about their marriage. Like the joke is that he is married to this smoke show. Like she's a bag of shit. I mean, that's the joke of it, and it works because that's the joke. It's kind of like when Adam Sandler always ends up with a hot girl in all of his movies. And it's like, how did this ugly chud land fucking Selmahayak? He makes a joke about it in grownups, too. He's like, How do you think I landed a smoke show like your mom? And he talks about how he does it. Uh Kevin's gonna vote this one down because he loves the Nicolas Cage Wickerman.

SPEAKER_06 55:47

But the bees, not the bees, not the bees.

SPEAKER_07 55:53

Honestly, that's the only thing I remember from this film.

SPEAKER_02 55:56

Also, right, number one are serious movies with heavy replications that are accidentally hilarious.

SPEAKER_07 56:04

Have either of you seen the original Wickerman from the 70s? Yes. Fucking scary. Yes, that's a scary, creepy fucking movie. This one is Nicolas Cage screaming about CGIPs. Yeah, I didn't vote this one either way, just because I I I I I'm fond of it just for the weirdness of it.

SPEAKER_02 56:28

I hadn't seen it, so I'm not gonna vote either way.

SPEAKER_07 56:31

I voted it up. I mean, you're not missing anything. You're not missing anything either way, Mike. So uh number 15, What Men Want with Taraji P. Henson. This is a remake of What Women Want, the Mel Gibson film from earlier in the 2000s. Again, I didn't like I didn't like that movie. What would it want? I like the Mel Gibson one. I actually kind of like that one a little bit. I thought it was funny. I don't know why you would waste your your powers on Helen Hunt, but otherwise I thought it was pretty funny. This one, I saw this one. Um I liked Tarashi P. Henson a lot. I think she's she's a good actress, and I enjoy a lot of the stuff that she's in. And I was like, okay, you want to arrange swap it fine, you want to uh gender swap it fine again. I don't care. It was boring, it wasn't really funny. Like that's the thing, it was like it just didn't keep my attention. I don't think Tracy Morgan's funny to begin with either. I actually think he's kind of funny, and I'm curious. He's in a new TV show with Daniel Radcliffe, of all people. Yeah, he is he's an ex-football player that's reliving his you know, or like I I want to watch it just to see Harry Potter interact with Tracy Morgan. Um, but this one was just boring, so swept away. Never heard of it. Yeah, it says it's a re I don't even know what the original one is. So this is the guy films. Oh, 1978. Yeah, I mean that's the thing. I don't even know the 1974 film. Yeah, and it's got Madonna in it, so the Guy Ritchie film, which is weird. Uh Jacob's Ladder again. Jacob's Ladder from the 90s. Which is so good. Such a good Kev, I think you did Jacob Ladder as a movie the time for yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And and like the original one with Tim Robbins and Danny Ayello is so creepy. Uh such a creepy, like, like terrifying film. Really well done. Um, this one did not need to be made.

SPEAKER_02 58:36

Number three, on 14 remakes, I completely missed the point of the original movie. Exactly. Like it kind of like yeah, it doesn't like the first one.

SPEAKER_07 58:46

Is he was dead the whole time, or he was dying. And everything he he died in Vietnam, and everything he was seeing was kind of like a vision of things that didn't really happen. Um, yeah, this one it's this one kind of changes everything. Uh Charlie's Angels Reboot. Which itself is a reboot of so this is a reboot of the Charlie's Angels films with Cameron Diaz and Lucy Lou, which itself was a reboot of the series with Farah Fawcett. And I have not seen this one either. I've I heard it wasn't too bad, but I I don't know. I wasn't a big fan of the of the ones with Cameron Diaz and all, anyway. So yeah, neither was I. No. Let's see. So we are at number 19, Taxi, with uh Queen Latifah and Jimmy Fallon. Oh, that's a thing you really want to see. I looked at something like this is a remake? I had no idea. Like, what's the so I looked it up? The original film was a French comedy of the same name. And I'm like, well, I don't know. Do you count that? Because it's a remake of a foreign film, like you know. Uh again, it's also Jimmy Fallon trying to be an actor, which doesn't really work. No. Number 20 is fame.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:14

The original fame, you know, a whole television series come off of that.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:19

I know, and I was gonna say, like, the the original movie is considered a classic, and the series was really good, and it's a few seasons. Um, I didn't even I forgot they did a remake of this. Um, this came out in 2009. I'm looking at it, it looks almost like it was like a reverse uh uh race swap. They put white actors in instead of uh instead of the other way around. Uh Wendy, number 21. This is a Peter Pan uh remake. Oh this came out during the pandemic. I don't really know anything about it. Uh Children of the Corn, number 22 from 2009. I'm sorry, you cannot remake Children of the Corn. Period. Children of the Corn the original is really fucking creepy. Um, this one was not. This one kind of missed the this one is could be in that list, Mike, that you just pointed out earlier about movies that missed the mark.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:16

Yeah, and you know, I I have a soft spot for Children of the Corn series, the the movies. I think it was three with filmed in my where I grew up. Okay, high school, and some of the kids to school with were the background kids. So that's cool.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:36

Don't movies. No, but I mean, like, as far as like the original, the original is so creepy. Uh number 23, total recall. As much as you love Kate Beckinsale. I love Kate Beckinsale. I even like Callin Farrell as an actor. I think he's a really good actor. This movie's terrible. So bad. I saw it only because Kate Beckinsale's in it. I don't know if I'm gonna do Arnold. I don't want him to ever remake an Arnold movie.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:08

It was missing in the central scene.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:10

Yeah, it was missing on Mars. A three-titdied lady into it for no reason. Like, why is she there? The reason they had her on Mars is because she was a mutant. There was no reason for it to be on Earth. So bad. And Kate Beckinsale's character was a combination of Sharon Stone and Michael Ironside. Like she was the Sharon Stone character married to the Colin Farrell character when she was undercover, but then after the cover was blown, she becomes the Michael Ironside character hunting him down. It was like it's so weird. Uh it's like that, and then I think Robocop's one here too, somewhere. Yeah, Robocop's number 25.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:53

We're coming to it soon. Yeah, I uh number 24 is Ben Hur. I didn't see it, but I can understand since it's so far the other one's so old. Even though it's a classic, I can see remaking it for today's audience.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:07

Yeah, I can see remaking it too, but if you're again, if you're gonna do it, make it good. Yeah, I didn't watch that. I don't know. It's it's it's kind of boring. Uh I mean the original one is considered a classic. I'm not a big fan of the original one because it is a very long film. Well, um Charlotte and Heston likes to do films. Yeah, I mean, I'm not the biggest Charlton Heston fan either, other than like Planet of the Apes and Ten Commandments. Um, Robocop number 25.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:36

Why I heard they're doing a series now.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:41

Yes, and I believe the series is supposed to be more like the the 87 Verhoven film.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:48

Number four of the 14 remakes, they completely missed the point of the original.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:56

It does really miss the point of the original. The original was a satire, it had all the weird humor in it. And again, this one tries to be this one tries to be a gritty film.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:04

It's sad. Gary Ollman and Samuel L. Jackson. Dude, the fucking cast is stacked in this shit.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:11

Gary Ullman, Samuel Jackson's in it. Um, Joel Kinneman, who's in the Suicide Squad, he plays the RoboCop. Um, uh, I think um Michael Keaton is in it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:22

Michael Keaton is in it, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:24

Yeah, like there's a few like really good actors in this film, but they still missed the mark with it. Yeah, I'm I'm curious about the series one. I'm hoping it ends up being pretty good because it's also I know Peter Weller's gonna be involved in it, too. So uh number 26, rollerball. Why? My favorite thing about this is it's directed by John McKiernan, who did uh Die Hard and and um last uh action hero and a lot of these other great action films from like the 80s and 90s, and he did this film and then went to jail for uh laundering money, which I believe he was using this film to do. Stars Chris Klein, best known for American Pie, the only movie he ever could actually act in. He is a terrible actor. Yep. This movie's bad. All I remember about this film is uh is Paul Heyman's in it, Mike. Oh god. Basically playing Paul Heyman. So bad. Nightmare on Elm Shrek E boot number 27 with Jackie Earl Haley again.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:31

I uh I just just because I remade it, I'm gonna boot it. I'm gonna say it's terrible. Yeah, I know because that's Mike's favorite horror film.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:38

So uh Legend of Hercules have the original Freddie Krueger playing Freddie Krueger anymore. Yeah. Then I saw this one, Legend of Hercules, and I thought it was gonna be the one with the rock. But it's not.

unknown 1:05:51

No.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:51

I didn't even I never even heard of this one. Uh 29, Conan the Barbarian, Jason Momoa. That was fucking dude. Terrible. April Fool's Day, number thirty. That's a horror remake.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:05

Now we're getting kind of like into the my the best acting acting I think Jason Momo has ever done was after he got kicked in the head with a horse and Game of Thrones. He's like, that was his best.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:18

He's really good in the Dune films. He's very good in the Dune films, and he's gonna be in the third one.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:27

He's been doing lately.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:28

That's about I am looking forward to seeing him as Lobo, though. Yeah, he does look good for the Super Bowl film. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:37

Uh is there anything on the rest of this list that anybody wants to point out? Like there's the Lion King of 35.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:44

I want to point out things that aren't on the list.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:49

The crow.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:51

It might be on here, it might be low. I'm I'm going through the list.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:54

I went through the entire list. It's not there.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:56

You don't see it on there? I did not. No.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:58

Flatliners.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:59

That's just definitely the honor. They redid flatliners?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:03

Yeah, they redid flatliners with uh Elliot Ellen Page. Lion King, a grudge, Pink Panther with uh Steve Martin.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:10

Yeah. Uh oh, Martyrs number 38.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:15

That's a remake of a French film of the same name. Kev, you'll love that film. The woman gets flayed alive at the end.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:21

Oh, yeah, that sounds like it's right up my alley.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:24

Uh 39 Child's Play with Mark Hamill is the voice of Chucky. Oh, that was I know. Uh uh. Yeah, I'm I'm looking, I'm going lower on the list now trying to see if there's anything. Red Dawn. That's yeah, yeah. That should be up. They got the uh Matthew Broderick Godzilla on here at 49. The Mulan live action, Red Dawn.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:50

There's a you see, I don't think you should. I mean, I'm not a big fan of the live action remakes, but um, I don't find them as like reboots, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:58

Yeah, and I actually don't think I I don't I can't categorize the Lion King as a live action remake when it's all CGI, right? Just because they look like more realistic doesn't mean it's a remake.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:10

Number 60, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:15

Oh, I got one on for you. Number 58, The Fog. The Fog is a remake of a John Carpenter film from 1982. Right. John Carpenter, I don't know why he let anybody remake this film because it is fucking terrible. This should be on the list of movies that missed a point.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:32

Here's one that should probably be voted up higher. Number 70, the day that Earth stood still with Kyle Reeves.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:38

Oh, that's number one on movies that missed a point.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:41

Yeah. Oh Poseidon, I saw that in the fucking theater. God, that sucked.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:46

Here's one. Here's one on my list. Number 59, Old Boy with Josh Brolin. This is based on a South Korean film. The South Korean film is fucking perfect. This movie is a total miss. Like total does not get the point of the original. Uh let's see what else we got here. That's sedentary.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:10

Number 72. Sparlet Letter. I Rob, I actually during high school rewatched this in class. This version. I think it was the one they used in class mostly. Yeah, I didn't think it was terrible.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:27

No, I wasn't. Uh, did you know there was a remake of Stagecoach? I did not know that. Neither did I. 1966. Anne Margaret, Alex Gordon, Ben Crosby.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:38

Wow.

unknown 1:09:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:39

Mike, your opinion on True Grit.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:42

I thought that the remake was good too. Not as well.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:45

I really like I really liked the remake.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:46

Yeah. You weren't upset by it.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:52

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:53

See, the Coen brothers directed it, and I think like they did what I said that you had to do. You had to change it just enough.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:00

To make it kind of different, but they didn't change it all the way, you know.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:03

Uh, here's one that definitely needs to go higher.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:05

Number 82. Planet of the Apes. Yeah, that fucking should be higher on the list. Uh, let's see what else we got here. Bad News Bears with Billy Bob Thornton. That should be higher on the list. House of Wax, which is a uh remake of a Vincent Price film. Death at a Funeral number 88, which is a remake of a British film. Which I actually like the American version of Death at a Funeral. I think it's pretty funny. Uh and then there's hunting on there, which where is that at?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:33

No, hunting was God. That's down there. Um Lady Kellder. I gotta see if I can find it now. And this surprised me. City of Angels, I did not know it was a remake.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:47

Um it's a remake of like uh that's another like remake of a foreign film.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:52

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:54

Uh here you go, 103, Clash of the Titans.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:57

I was about to say that one.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:00

That needs to go up, up, up, up, up. Number 104, Shaft with Samuel Jackson. Here's the miracle 434th Street at 107. Where's your attention?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:11

I don't hate the remake. Yeah, I didn't, I wasn't I prefer the original. I don't hate this version. Right.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:18

I feel like if you go as you get down lower on the list, you're looking at films that are not that bad as far as remakes go. Are you thinking I oh wait?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:29

I you know they remade Friday the 13th with Jared Pelecki.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:37

Oh, here's the Hercules with the Rock, the Rock Hercules number 126. I know that the original was Vincent Price, which I'm sure is really good, but I think the um Michael Finnegan one is just takes a case.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:53

I mean, that's a that's a series, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:55

That's that's different because that's a series.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:57

You know what's not on this list? Fucking Ghostbusters. You're Sabrina. That's gonna get my my wife angry. She loves that film.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:08

How about 131 there for you, Lee? War of the worlds.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:11

Fuck it. Fuck that movie. Hate that fucking movie. I love Spielberg, I hate that movie. Uh let's see what else we got. Fright Knight, Alice in Wonderland, Johnny Depp one.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:26

Tomb Raider.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:27

Manchurian candidate. See, that's like a thing. Like you get lower on the list, you're starting to see things that are not bad.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:34

No, I thought the Wolfman was actually pretty good.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:37

I like the Manchurian candidate with Denzel.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:39

What did you guys think of the remake of the Yar Longest Yard? I didn't care for it.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:47

Yeah, I didn't care for it. I really liked it. I like the I really like the um Burt Reynolds one.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:54

I like the Manchurian candidate remake.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:57

Yeah, it was pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:59

Uh that's what I mean. Like here, you got Dread with Carl Urban. That's fucking fantastic. I want a sequel to that one. Uh Italian Job. I like the Italian job. The Mark Wahlberg one. Scarface is a remake. Scarface is a remake of a film from the 30s uh with Ever G. Robinson.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:20

Um, so like it's a remake, but it's like it's so far apart from the original that it really doesn't really count as a remake. Yeah, and that's the last one on the list. Wow. Yeah, like I yeah, the crow should be on there, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:32

Yeah. Oh, what a what a nice crow should definitely be on there.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:37

Um, but that's uh that's our list for tonight. Uh Mike Gavini must try beer. Or I'm sorry, we did that one already. Beer trivia, of course. There we go.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:48

It paints beer as a as less as a the it paints beer less as a ceremonious rarity and more as a familiar companion. Something brewed with relative speed and meant for everyday enjoyment. While most beard aren't aged like fine whiskeys and vintage wines, exceptions exist just as not all wines and whiskeys are long matured. The comparison drifts between the comparison drifts drip briefly into process. Wine for drinking that 100 proof whiskey, dude. Wine can emerge quite simply from crushing grapes and natural yeast, whereas beer demands a more deliberate beginning. Barley in its raw form offers little, so before brewing even begins, it must be transformed into malt. That early that early careful preparation sets beer on its long, more and I can't even see the fucking word right now. Intricate, thank you. Path from grain to glass.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:06

We have a cinema quarter of the week as well.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:14

The principal benefit of acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis from the very sane Marlon Brando.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:24

Based on a lot of the shit I read about him, especially towards the latter part of his life, I don't think that psychoanalysis was working. Anybody sold Island of Dr. Moreau. Something didn't work.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:49

Same. Same. And then I watched it.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:52

It was what the fuck did I just watch? I watched it and I was like, I'm so glad I watched this. Oh, speaking of watching films, uh, I saw uh Project Hail Mary this week uh with Ryan Gosling. Okay, good view is really, really good. It's from the same person who wrote uh The Martian. Yeah. Um I still like The Martian better, but it was a really, really good movie, and Ryan Gosling's awesome. I actually I told Katie this after I watched it. I think Ryan Gosling might be like my favorite actor right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:27

Do you think he's dreamy?

SPEAKER_07 1:16:29

He is dreamy, but it's more like I think he is a better actor than people give him credit for. Because like he's really good in this film, he's really good in The Nice Guys, which is a hilarious movie. He's really good in Driver, which is a very serious movie, he's really good in Blade Runner 2049, and they're all very different characters. And I think he's a really good actor and doesn't get the credit he deserved for it. And he's one of the best NSL SNL hosts they've had in a while. Uh yeah. So uh how were your drinks this evening, gentlemen?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:04

Uh they were good, they were delicious, and it's been a while since I've been able to finish two 14 15 ounce cans in a sitting. So it's been a day. Let me tell you this.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:19

It starts to go down smooth, but the backbite kicks you in the ass.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:26

And makes seeing words really hard. So I had two different espresso martinis tonight in tiny, tiny cans. The lover boy espresso martini wine cocktail and the cutwater espresso martini vodka cocktail. One is 12% alcohol by volume, the other is 13% alcohol by volume. I finished them both, and I'm surprised I'm not slurring. Although I might be slurring and just don't hear it myself. You just got a little stutter going. I did that. A little stutter going, yeah. Um so thank you for joining us tonight, everybody, for episode 233 worst Hollywood remakes and reboots. We hope you enjoyed listening to this episode as much as we enjoyed recording it for you. Remember to send us emails at filmsofermentation at gmail.com or visit linktree.com slash films of fermentation to find all of our social media podcast links. You can support us on Patreon at patreon.com slash films of fermentation or buy our merchandise at teespring.com. You can text us at 904 8674466 or watch us on YouTube Rumble or the PodNation Media Network on Roku. Don't forget to stop by the crossroads between Pickled and Fermented next time around for episode 234. We're breaking out the bracket again. We're gonna do a bracket uh episode on the best movie trilogies. That should be a very interesting one. I already looked at the bracket uh that we're using, and there's a couple like first round matchups that are gonna be really difficult, so it should be fun. In the meantime, I'm Leo, I'm Kevin, I'm Mike. This has been the Films and Fermentation Podcast. Cheers, everybody. Cheers.